rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Green mimosas i think yes
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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