you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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