Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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