i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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