Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
