And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize