before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Bring me that man meat
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize