Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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