i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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