Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
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on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
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I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize