Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
