Can Purell be used as lube?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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