sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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