Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize