So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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