Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize