Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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