I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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