I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
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