She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
