We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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