The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
