i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.