carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
A bitchslap is in order.