god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
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He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
where are my eyebrows?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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