Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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