he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
