So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
