I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
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I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
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You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola