It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
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Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives