I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine