Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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