Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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