There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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