Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize