dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize