But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize