do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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