just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize