used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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