I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
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You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
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I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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