can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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