2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize