he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize