whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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