Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize