Acid is not a monday night drug
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
