My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
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Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
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I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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