I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize