Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
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Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
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If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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