i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
