i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.