Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.