my phone needs a breathalizer
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up