You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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