If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
we made out on top of his cat.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My day in three words: secret purse cake
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
